Hiei in New York?
by Shadow Loup-Garoux
Summary: Alas the story draws to a close... maybe I'll put in about 4 more chapters after this one... It was fun to watch the story unfold but I'm loosing my freverent hyperness. Anyways, this story is about Hiei and his experience in New York upon his binding to
1. Meet Cheryl

Hello people. I just couldn't resist seeing what would happen if a friend of mine met Hiei in real life. And Cheryl is a real person, she's in my class and is also somewhere on the other side of my street. Disclaimer: I don't own Hiei or any other Yuyu Hakusho persons and/or things... and I got the idea of talking to Hiei from Author Space from Lady Yami.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was a normal day in the human world and there was a girl in a sidewalk squealing, "Balloon!" in a high-pitched voice. She had a familiar short fire demon handcuffed to her. He was trying to pick the lock of the cuff with his sword (which had been replaced with a lawn gnome prior to the cuffing)  
  
"Release me at once!" Demanded the fed up fire demon.  
  
"No!" She replied then skipped off with him being dragged due to his protests.  
  
"What did I do to deserve this?..." He murmured with a sigh.  
  
"Absolutely nothing, now enjoy your tour of New York or I have your imprisoner use bizarre means of torture." spoke someone with no visible body.  
  
"Why do you get to just watch?! You're the author as well as a crazed fan of mine!" He yelled while getting stared at by the people on the sidewalk. It appeared rather awkward that someone was dragged along talking to no one they could see.  
  
"I watch since, well, it's fun to watch. Be grateful I'm not the one handcuffed to you. I can act just like Cheryl but I find very vulgar means to torture you... Plus, Cheryl's not hyper so I'm doing you a favor, Hiei."  
  
"Cheryl?! Who's that?!" demanded Hiei in response.  
  
"That's ME!" She sai- er,..yelled, jumping up and down once while still speaking in the high-pitched squeal of a voice.  
  
"Stop screaming you baka nigen!" he shouted.  
  
"Noo." She said flatly and without a squeal, and in an actual indoor voice.  
  
"Now I think I'm gonna go insane soon." Hiei said with a sigh.  
  
"Yep, that's the point Hiei so just go with it." I said while taking out a bucket of popcorn and a soda to just sit on and watch while Cheryl dragged Hiei all around Chinatown.  
  
"Is she gonna stop?" asked the fire demon with a sigh.  
  
"Yep, soon. I had a reason for replacing your sword with a lawn gnome you know." I responded. "Oh really?" "Yeah, you'll see why soon." I responded with a slight sigh. "Ooooh." Cheryl said as a police car drove by with the lights flashing. "SHINY!!!" she yelled and followed the car at a fast speed with Hiei getting dragged on his stomach while he gritted his teeth. Cheryl chased the car to.. who knows?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
All right, that's the end of the chapter.  
  
Hiei: Sorta short no?  
  
I know.  
  
Hiei: Why do you want to see me go insane?  
  
Dunno, but it is fun to watch Cheryl act like this even though this is her normal.  
  
Hiei: Wouldn't be so fun if you were getting dragged. Wait, this is her NORMAL?!  
  
Ye-ep..  
  
Hiei: Please don't tell me she's gonna act hyper.  
  
Maybe but I might save your hide... Hiei: how?  
  
Not telling.  
  
Hiei: wait, how is taking my sword helping me?  
  
It's shiny; Cheryl likes shiny objects.  
  
Hiei: Oh, but did you have to use a lawn gnome?  
  
Ye-ep.  
  
Hiei: Well, why not a plastic flamingo then?  
  
I think the insanenessing process of Hiei has begun!  
  
Hiei: Wait, is insanenessing even a word?  
  
It is now. All right people, bye!  
  
Oh, and as a parting note, be careful in Chinatown, the police come by a lot. And all the stores close up so fast that someone only has to count to ten before everything's locked down. All right, now it's goodbye! Review Please! 


	2. Cheryl's version of Hiei In New York Ch1

And here's Cheryl's take on Hiei in New York chapter one written mostly by her but I did put some parts in:  
  
On the sidewalk in the middle of a big city, you see an adorable 13 year old girl tied to an demon dude.  
  
Hiei tries to pick lock.  
  
Hiei:AHHHHH!  
  
Hiei: Stupid human!  
  
cheryl: who said i was human  
  
Hiei: you're not!?  
  
cheryl: nope im idiot. nice to meet u  
  
Hiei: I shouldn't hav asked.... SHES DRIVING ME CRAZY!  
  
Cheryl: Well, join the club. I like ostriches...  
  
Hiei: QUIT SAYING RANDOM THINGS!  
  
Cheryl: What's a random?  
  
Hiei: Forget it!  
  
Cheryl: I'm bored... wanna go jump off a bridge?  
  
Hiei: No! Not really...  
  
Cheryl: I'll take that as a yes. *Drags Hiei to the bridge*  
  
Hiei: But...  
  
Cheryl: What! Are you scared?  
  
Hiei: NO!  
  
Cheryl: Ok then let's go! *jumps* WHHEEE!  
  
Hiei: AHHH!  
  
Cheryl: That was fun!  
  
Hiei: How the heck did you survive?  
  
Cheryl: I hit the bottom of the ocean with my head... I think I left a crater at the bottom...  
  
Hiei: I'm kinda tired!  
  
Cheryl: Party pooper!  
  
Yep. Now Cheryl, I think you might want to get the shiny lights before Brian does.  
  
Cheryl: He'll never take my shiney lights! *climbs out of water*  
  
He took your shiny art box once in Math A, remember?  
  
Hiei: I;ve had nough! I''m tired and im soaking wet!  
  
Deal with it Hiei, the objective is to drive you insane..  
  
Cheryl: IM GONNA GET U BRIAN!!!! MY SHINY!  
  
Hiei: NOOOO!  
  
Cheryl, hurry, the car's getting away!  
  
Cheryl: MY SHINY!  
  
and Brian's right next to the car  
  
Cheryl: Hey Brian wat up?  
  
He's not really there..  
  
cheryl: Sincwe when?  
  
*police car with shiny lights starts driving away*  
  
Since I made him vanish..  
  
Cheryl: maybe it was just the voices in my head telling me he wuz there  
  
nope, I'm just talking to you from author's space... now go catch that car!  
  
Brian: *appears out of nowhere and is on the trunk of the car*  
  
Hiei: IM REALLY TIRED OF THIS!!!   
  
CHeryl: But I wanna...   
  
Hiei: NO!   
  
Cheryl: ok fine! *cheryl takes off the handcuff and bites herself out of it. Takes Hiei's end and locks it to a tree*  
  
Cheryl: Have fun!  
  
*Runs after car*  
  
Hiei: DONT LEAVE ME LOCKED HERE!!!  
  
The End  
  
Next time: Cheryl tied to Yusuke 


	3. Start of the Big Apple Anime Fest of DOO...

Disclaimer: I don't own any and all Yuyu Hakusho characters or persons things.. They're owned by umm ::takes out Yuyu Hakusho vol 1 manga:: Yoshihiro Togashi. I don't own The Big Apple Anime Fest. I also don't own Author Space, it's owned by Lady Yami. I just customized it to fit my purpose.  
  
All right, time for chapter two. I wonder what the chaotic duo is doing now. I'd better go and check on them.. ::clicks power on button of TV and watches the ever amusing chase::  
  
"Shiny!!!!!" Cheryl yelled yet again while chasing the police car with the flashing lights.  
  
"Are you ever going to s-" Hiei started but was stopped seeing as he was just dragged int-through a fire hydrant and he was actually brought to his feet from the force of the water. Apparently, this annoyed Cheryl since she was loosing the car even more. She pulled Hiei out of the jet stream of water and then into about 52 people.  
  
Cheryl jumped onto the roof of the car and hugged the flashing lights then stood on the hood and tried to pull the lights off.  
  
"What is she doing?" Hiei asked with his no longer spiky hair dripping with water.  
  
"She's gonna try taking the shiny object." I told Hiei while munching on more popcorn. "Careful, you might get shocked."  
  
"Wha-!!!!" Hiei started but was zapped with electricity. The hat of the lawn gnome broke off. "Noooooo!" Hiei cried out with his hair now extra spiky (hard to believe it can be that way, isn't it?).  
  
"Alright, I better switch places with Cheryl before she reeks more chaos on the poor police car. Plus, she'll probably run thr-" I stated the winced seeing Cheryl run through a brick wall with her prized lights in hand.  
  
"Yep, she ran through the wall." I sighed with my hand over my forehead and painted on Jagan Eye.  
  
"NOW YOU TELL ME!" Hiei said while pulling his face from the wall then stepped back to admire the imprint. "Heh, for once this hyper idiot proved useful."  
  
"Who you calling an idiot?" Cheryl said walking out of the wall with an evil gleam in her eyes.  
  
"Umm. no one." ^^;;; Hiei responded backing away slowly.  
  
"Alright, now I switch before Hiei gets his but kicked like Yusuke when he touches Kayko's rear end." Cheryl poofled out of the handcuffs while I took her place. Cheryl: ::in author space:: pretty buttons. "Now I'm glad I put her in a straight jacket." I said shaking my head slightly  
  
"Yeah, good idea." he sighed in agreement  
  
"Now, for the next stop!"  
  
"Are we going to the Empire State Building?" He asked tilting his head slightly.  
  
"Noo, we're going to the biggest Anime convention in New York!" I said dashing off to Time's Square dragging Hiei.  
  
"Wait, a sec, is that Kurama?" asked the little fire youkai, stopping in place when he saw a very accurate Kurama cosplayer.  
  
"Umm.. I'm not Kurama. I'm just a crazed fangirl of Hiei's dressed up like him. Wow little dude, you must be a real good cosplayer, you got the outfit the hair, the voice, the shoes the height, everything except the sword." She responded calmly.  
  
"But, I am Hiei, this crazy fangirl here," he said pulling the handcuff attached to his and my wrist, "Just had to drag me out of Yuyu Hakusho and have her psychopathic friend drag me around this freakin' city!" he said with a shout.  
  
The Kurama fangirl bent down slightly then poked Hiei's forehead and he swatted her hand away quickly. The Jagan Eye glowed the same red as Hiei's nice crimson eyes. She gasped then removed the headband quickly then gasped seeing the Jagan Eye was real. "YOU REALLY ARE HIEI!!!!!!" she screamed in delight.  
  
"Hiei, we'd better run now?" I told him backing away slowly.  
  
"Why? She seems more enthused about me than you do." He said still staring at the Kurama cosplayer fangirl person.. thing. Me refer to her as KCFGPT.  
  
"That's why, " I said as the KCFGPT lunged at Hiei and tried dug her clawed nails around the Jagan Eye and her foot on Hiei's chest while she tried to pull the magical demon eye out. It glowed red again and the pupil narrowed against the violet iris as black flames surrounded the KCFGPT's hand and melted it to ashes as well as the whole Jagan stealer.  
  
"Oh, if that was just some fangirl where's the real Kurama." He asked looking at me.  
  
"The Makai Forest, or maybe the Dealer's room.." I said walking into the huge hotel that the Big Apple Anime Fest was in.  
  
Oh.." He said, still in the doorway, and then watched as a hoard of fangirls ran by shouting something about Jin. The mop topped, horned, Irish seeming, wind demon appeared behind me.  
  
"Ya missed your fangirls, boyo." I told him speaking with an Irish accent.  
  
"Ai, they be me fangirls but they be out at kill me and auction me corpse on the Internet!!!!!!" he said very fast.  
  
"Here, take this to hide under." Hiei said handing Jin an umbrella.  
  
"Umm, what'm I gonna 'ave a need fer this? If yeh gone blind, the sun be shinin'!" He scoffed. "Yeah I know but now you can hide your ugly face from the fangirls." Hiei replied. "Oh.. That actually be a good idea." He said opening the umbrella that had in bright red writing: 'JIN IS HERE!' then had a giant yellow arrow pointing at him. Both Hiei and I chuckled at this. "THERE HE IS!!!" Shouted the hoard of Jin fans charging at him. "AHHHHH!!!" He shouted then flew off into the building with the fans on his shadow, and a few were on hover bikes. "C'mon, lets go inside and watch the ceremonies." I said pulling him through the revolving doors. Hiei seemed to like the rotating movement and made us spin around and around and around and around and around. for about ten minutes until I persuaded him to ride the elevator. "This is gonna be a long Anime Fest.." I sighed while hitting my head against the glass wall of the elevator as Hiei started pushing a bunch of random buttons.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ End chapter two. Hiei: YOU BROKE MY GNOME!!!!! So? Hiei: YOU BROKE MY GNOME!!!!! So? Hiei: you'd better replace it. I will, eventually. See ya round people! Review story if ya can.. Bye!! 


	4. Giant Ducks, Pink Flamingos, and a Kill ...

Hi again people! Now things'll become more hectic now that Hiei's insanessing process is really starting to prove successful. NO HIEI, DON'T PUSH THE RED BUTTON! ::place explodes..:: All right,. now for chapter three!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Ug. Hiei stop pushing buttons!" I yelled now getting sick from going up and down from Hiei pushing too many buttons and I had already made several cracks in the glass from hitting my head on it.  
  
"Fine.." He said with a sigh. "What floor are we supposed to go on?  
  
"Six." I murmured.  
  
"Alright!" He said then pushed the button for the sixth floor.  
  
"Finally!" I gasped, walking out of the elevator. We had just gotten down from the one hundred twelfth floor.  
  
"That was fun! Can we ride the elevator again?!" Hiei asked excitedly.  
  
"NO!" I shouted. "How about I give you a present and you don't ride the elevator until next year?"  
  
"Alright. Gimmie the present!" He said jumping up at me. Out of Anime Space I pulled out his sword but it had a small red button on the hilt.  
  
"About time you gave my katana back, baka nigen!" Hiei responded, now sounding like his old self. He drew the blade and bashed me over the head, trying to cut me in half.  
  
"What the?!" he muttered in surprise since the sword had bent from the point it touched my head.  
  
"Fool, it's fake. You're not allowed to have real katanas here." I stated calmly while mimicking his tone of voice.  
  
"Hey, why's there a button on the hilt?" he inquired.  
  
"Not telling you, Hiei." I replied while waiting in line to get the passes. While we were waiting, Hiei pushed the shiny red button (I could swear Cheryl's rubbing off on him.) and his sword became a pink plastic flamingo.  
  
"Yay! A PLASTIC PINK FLAMINGO!!!!" Hiei shouted the hugged his new, non- shiny sword replacement.  
  
"Next" someone called, already, we were at the front of the line but the group of Jin's fangirls who was chasing him still cut us off.  
  
"AHHHHH!!!!!" Jin shouted flying out of the room, now with a full weekend pass around his neck.  
  
"GET HIM!" Shouted the apparent leader of the group after they all had gotten their passes. Everyone else in the room watched on with the anime sweat drop on the side of their face while some of the air born fans followed Jin and the others waited for him to land.  
  
"Next!" Shouted person number two of three who were handing the passes out. I bought a full weekend pass for both Hiei and I then dragged him off without looking and walked into someone who felt like a brick wall. Hmmm.feels like a brick wall, smells of flames of Spirit world, is shorter than twice my height, I'm guessing I just rammed into Bui, I thought.  
  
"BUI!" Shouted Hiei drawing his pink plastic flamingo blade of Doom glaring at the 9 foot tall, seemingly 5 ton container and blue pajama wearing, masked person who was holding a giant duck?!  
  
"I knew it.." I stated now standing behind Hiei while all the other peoples stared.  
  
"Wait. what happened to my axe?" asked the tenor voiced Bui (as Koto described him) with glowing red eyes looking to the giant duck in his hand.  
  
"Sorry Bui, real axes aren't allowed." I retorted  
  
"Then why'd Hiei get the flamingo?! I WANTED THE FLAMINGO!!!" He shouted.  
  
"Hiei's my favorite." I said hugging the handcuffed fire youkai from behind.  
  
"You're.. choking.. me!" Hiei gasped.  
  
"Sorry." I told him then dragged him off while Bui started thrashing random people with the duck. We paused as a little green toad youkai passed us being chased by a hoard of people. I grabbed one by the shoulder and stopped him.  
  
"What're you doing?" I inquired of him,  
  
"We're part of the Kill Jaken society." He responded.  
  
"Lemme join!" I yelled. He gave me a membership card then left. The fire youkai started pulling the chain away from the chase and towards one of the rooms. He walked through the door and paused seeing...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ End chapter three.  
  
Hiei: Umm. Cheryl actually is behaving in author's space?  
  
Umm. noo. ::pushes remote to camera in author's space::  
  
Cheryl: ::had gotten out of strait jacket and is now trying to break through the glass over all the shiny buttons with scissors::  
  
::tv screen goes black:: see?  
  
Hiei: How'd she get scissors?  
  
I dunno, maybe I should give her your flamingo..  
  
Hiei: NO!!!! MINE!!!! ::tries to hide the flamingo blade replacement::  
  
Ok, bye peoples. ::steals the flamingo then is chased by a pissed off Hiei and Bui:: AHHHH!!!!  
  
Hiei: Get Her!!!! 


	5. Sesshomaru, Miroku, and Soultaker!

Hiya people! ::is still running from Bui and Hiei:: Um... today you'll see what's behind that door.... and beware of the crazy Jin fangirls!!!!!!!  
  
Bui: ::swings giant yellow duck::  
  
Giant duck: ::squeaky quack on contact with my head::  
  
Idiot. The duck's hollow.  
  
Hiei: ::steals the flamingo sword replacement and backs away only to be chased by Bui who wants the flamingo:: it's mine you b@st@rd!!!!!  
  
Bui: MINE!!! ::continues chasing Hiei::  
  
ok... back to story.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Hiei walked through the door and saw Sesshomaru dressed like a girl while being chased by Miroku.  
  
"Think he knows that he's chasing a youkai?" Hiei inquired while pulling the handcuff.  
  
"Nope, I told him Fluffy was a ningen girl. Plus, Fluffy's not very threatening seeing as he's well..... a human with white hair plus, he's not to thrilled over what I did to Tokijin...." I said while taking pictures of Sesshomaru getting cornered by Miroku while all the people didn't seem to notice at all.  
  
"Oh. Wait, what's a Tokijin and what'd you do to it?" Hiei blurted out.  
  
"Tokijin's Sesshomaru's evil possessed sword. And I put it in author's space." I said still paying attention to Miroku who was now being whacked by Sesshomaru.  
  
"What?! This is an Anime Convention! Normally women would accept to bear my children!!!!" Miroku cried now covering his head while Sesshy continued to whack him mercilessly with the Tenseiga.  
  
"I've told you already! I'M NOT A GIRL YOU LECH!!!!" Shouted Sesshomaru. His voice sounded like a girl's too.  
  
"Wait... YOU PUT AN EVIL SWORD IN AUTHOR'S SPACE?!" Hiei shouted now realizing what chaos could have been caused.  
  
"Yeah, why?" I said still oblivious to what Hiei had just realized.  
  
"CHERYL MIGHT HAVE THE EVIL KATANA!!!!!" Hiei yelled, panicked.  
  
"Oh crap..." I murmured after Hiei had spelt everything out. "Think the Kill Jaken Society'd be able to use the Tokijin?"  
  
"Moo." Hiei said, now mimicking Cheryl.  
  
"That's Cheryl's word, Hiei...." I responded.  
  
"Really? I thought is was Balloon!!" He replied and mimiced the pitch of the word balloon fairly well.  
  
"Yeah. Wait,... you can hit that pitch?" I inquired.  
  
"Um.. I guess... now how do we help Miroku?" He said seeing as now there was a small amount of blood trickling down Miroku's head because of the constant thrashing. Still, people didn't notice at all. Wow.... oblivious people. Think if the place exploded, would they notice? I'll have to see if that'd work eventually...  
  
"Umm.. how about.." I murmured while I snapped my fingers. Fluffy vanished and was now in author's space with Cheryl.  
  
"Seven Days!" Cheryl hissed while looking at Sessho, mimicking the ghost from the Ring, after flipping her hair over her head.  
  
"You're scaring me." Sesshomaru shouted, backing away slowly.  
  
"Moo." was her response once her hair was back to normal.  
  
"Um... where's Fluffy?" Hiei said.  
  
"With Cheryl. Any idea how to get Miroku to leave?" I said while taking a picture of the perverted monk in the fetal position rocking to and fro chanting something I couldn't hear.  
  
"No clue..."  
  
"Alright, time to go watch the shows they have here." I said walking off towards the movie theatre.  
  
"Which ones do they have?" the little fire youkai inquired.  
  
I took out a guide and read the names aloud: "Fushigi Yugi, S-CRY-ed", Cat Soup, Ah My Godess, Cowboy Bebop, Boogiepop Phantom, and Soultaker."  
  
"Have you seen any of them?" he asked looking at the pictures in his guide/schedule.  
  
"Yeah, I've seen a few. I think that you'd probably like Soultaker." I said while walking off into one of the theatres. We sat by the front and watched the show.  
  
"Kizutsuita, hibi no mukou ni, nani ga matsu no ka, SOULTAKER. Itetsuku sekai ni, kokoro o yobi samasu koe ga, nari hibiku. Kodoku no obieta, kinou o furi kitte, jidai no uzu no naka e. Ima ore wa, nani o shinjite, kono mune ni, nani o dakishimete, hashiru no ka. Yabou o kechirasu, tamshii no sakebi, kedakaku hoero, SOULTAKER. Sekai o michibiku, hitosuji no hikari, kienai yume o, sono te de, SOULTAKER!" I sang along with the opening theme and was stared at by several people, including Hiei. The incident of the singing the opening theme soon passed as the scene of a battle began. I was the only one shouting: "Go Kyosuke!" while he and another person were fighting. Again, people stared and I couldn't care less!  
  
"You were right. That was a good show." Hiei stated as we walked out of the place. I stopped seeing as I had walked into....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
End chapter.  
  
Hiei: wait, where's the Jin fan girls?  
  
Oh, good observation. I was forgetting about them. ::pushes button for the video camera:: Let's see where they are.  
  
Jin: ::is flying to the top of the hotel yelling::  
  
Fangirls on hover bikes: ::are following and are only a few feet behind him.. Well below   
  
really::  
  
Fangirls without the hover bikes: ::ride the elevator to the highest floor and throw a net at   
  
Jin::  
  
::screen goes black::  
  
Awww!... Just when it was getting good! 


	6. RUN SESSHY, RUN LIKE THE WIND!

Hiya peoples! Time for Hiei In New York part... ummm Hiei which part is it?  
  
Hiei: blue  
  
Ok..... Cheryl get out of the Hiei costume....  
  
Cheryl: Fine.....  
  
Good...Where'd you put Hiei?  
  
Cheryl: I'm not telling.  
  
Ok..... well.... I'd better go look for him.... ::wanders around looking for him::  
  
Cheryl: ::runs around in circles then runs into wall::  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
—I stopped seeing as I had walked into.... —  
  
Kurama.  
  
"Hello Kurama." I spoke stepping back. "See Hiei, I told ya he'd be in the dealer's room"  
  
"Hello. Hiei why are you hiding?" He said seeing Hiei stepping back.  
  
"How do I know he's the real Kurama?" Hiei demanded hiding behind me.  
  
"Did you forget that I'm the authoress? Plus, there's a bunch of seeds, an ojeki plant, and a rose in his hair, it's kinda obvious."  
  
"Umm... hai...."  
  
"That's strange... Hiei normally doesn't hide." Kurama stated.  
  
"That's because I've been driving him insane with help from Cheryl. She's the one who caused the brain damage....." I said calmly.  
  
"Oh. Why do you want to drive Hiei insane? Aren't you an obsessed Hiei fanatic?" Kurama inquired.  
  
"HOW DOES EVERYONE KNOW I'M AN OBSESSED HIEI FAN?!" I shouted.  
  
"You're the authoress, remember? You make people know. Plus, I overheard what Hiei said to that Jagan Stealing Cosplayer."  
  
"Oh.... Any idea where the buffoon is? It'll be fun to kill him." I asked with a wicked smile on my face thinking of ways to kill Kuwabara.  
  
"Probably fighting with Yusuke.... Or trying to find Yukina or one of her cosplayers...." He sighed.  
  
"Yukina has cosplayers?!" Hiei gasped.  
  
"Don't worry Hiei, Yukina's not even in the BAAF." Kurama and I said at the same time.  
  
"These peoples are really oblivious. Ah well, at least your fan clubs didn't show up." I spoke calmly another wicked smile on my face.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU SCHEMING?!" Both Hiei and Kurama shouted at me.  
  
"Oh nothing... nothing..." I spoke with the kitty face that Botan uses oh so very often.  
  
"Yeah right..." Hiei spoke, rolling his eyes.  
  
"MOO!!!" Cheryl shouted, emerging from the Author's Space. Sesshomaru was next to her, on all fours, with a dog collar and leash around his neck.  
  
"What are you doing to Sesshomaru?" I asked, laughing.  
  
"Um... giving him a walk. Right, Fluffy?" Cheryl said, looking down at him.  
  
"Wench....." he mumbled but then was whacked with the Tokijin. "I mean, woof woof."  
  
"Good doggie!" Cheryl replied to Sesshomaru's response.  
  
"What are you doing here?!" Hiei asked, hiding behind Kurama and me.  
  
"I broke the author's space." Cheryl said happily.  
  
"YOU WHAT?!" Hiei, Kurama, and I all said at once. HOW COULD SHE BREAK THE AUTHOR SPACE?! I HAD JUST REPAINTED THE WHOLE THING TO LOOK LIKE FLAMES!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
"I pushed this giant red button with shiny gold letters on it." She replied.  
  
"You pushed the self destruct button....." I sighed.  
  
"Why even have a button to blow the place up?" Hiei demanded.  
  
"IN case of a code 90929385467584 C."  
  
"And that would be"  
  
"Parents show up and mess with things....."  
  
"Why would they go to a room that about fifty thousand miles in the air?!"  
  
"Because my dad likes to torture me... plus, it's not as stupid as code 7292000 7AB4."  
  
"And a code... whatever it was you said it?"  
  
"Attack of the crab people with the dinosaurs."  
  
"They're attacking?! AHHH!!!" Hiei screamed trying to run away, apparently forgetting about the handcuffs... heck even I forgot.  
  
"They aren't really attacking, Hiei." Kurama said looking towards the majorly stressed out fire youkai. Cheryl jumped into Sesshomaru's back.  
  
"GO DOGGIE RUN TO FREEDOM!" She said, whacking him. Sesshomaru ran straight into a wall.  
  
And the people kept ignoring the strange group of people until.....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ok, end of chapter 5 I think. ::continues looking for Hiei::  
  
Cheryl: This wouldn't've happened if he didn't take my shiny box.  
  
Geez..... learn to let go of the shiny.  
  
Cheryl: NO MY SHINY!!!  
  
Ok... Cheryl... what're you doing? NO STAY AWAY FROM TE CONTROL PANEL!!!!  
  
(I know not one of my funniest chapters so.. ah well... find out what happened to Jin in the next chapter you unfortunate ningens!) 


	7. MOON BUNNY AND HIEI CHIBI!

Ok… I'm still looking for Hiei…. Cheryl has a VERY strange mind….. must think like her.  Hm….blender…. no. Underwater safe…….no.  In a goose…..maybe…

Cheryl: Moo!

In a cow?!  YOU HID HIEI IN A COW?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!!!

Cheryl: Yeauhno uh no.

Darn it!!! Wait,… you didn't leave him on Mars… did you?

Cheryl: Um….

YOU LEFT HIEI AT BEULER?! HOW COULD YOU?!!!!

Cheryl: I forgot where I hid him   =^_^=

………………….. ok…. Back to the story……

FEAR THE BUNNIES!!!! (Reason for the bunnies: This section was originally written on Easter so.. I put bunnies  ^^  So today is like… bunny mania eventually)

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— "GO DOGGIE RUN TO FREEDOM!" She said, whacking him. Sesshomaru ran straight into a wall.

And the people kept ignoring the strange group of people until..... —

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Shouted Jin, getting trapped by the giant net that was made to cling to him and then have enough weight to make him crash to the ground as if he were glomped from above by 500 hippos and it was totally resistant to his powers.  Did I forget that it'd turn him into a ningens after about ………."OW!" He said, his body almost totally flattened out.  Yep.  He was a ningens.  Wow… only diff was that his ears were back to a normal form and the fang and horn were gone.

"YAY!!! WE FINALLY CAUGHT JIN!!!" Said the fan girls, landing(or taking the elevator… I guess I helped since it was the one I almost broke from hitting my head on it when Hiei was pushing random buttons, remember?).

"GET OFF ME OR I CRAM MY FLAMINGO DOWN YOUR THROAT!!!" Hiei shouted…. Jin had landed right on the poor short kawaii brain-damaged fire demon.  MINE!  YOU NO HAVE HIEI, GOT IT?

"Get off me now Jin, or I incinerate your soul after tearing off your limbs rather painfully." I said in a tone very similar to Hiei's before he was handcuffed.  Jin got off very fast 

"Good doggie!" I said, patting his head.

"Keep your gruddy mits to yerself!  I ain't no dog!" Jin retorted through gritted teeth.  Just then, a hooded and robed figure walked by.  It had glowing blue eyes.

"IT'S ONE OF THE MOON BUNNY PEOPLE!!!!!" I shouted.

"MOON BUNNY PEOPLE?!" Hiei gasped.  "THERE'S AN INVASION!" He said, trying to run away…. He tripped because of the handcuffs.….. Kawaii!    -^^-

"This Hiei thing'd be more fun if he were a chibi…. Cuter too….  I'm the authoress so…..Poof!" I said.

"Nani?" Hiei asked then was enveloped in a giant cloud of smoke.  Then the smoke vanished he was a chibifyed kid version of himself.

"KAWAII!!!!" I squealed then promptly glomped the little guy.  I then looked towards the other people(some of which were staring at Hiei and thinking about glomping him since they were Hiei fanatics too).  "HE'S MINE YOU HEAR?!" I shouted angrily at them with fangs bared, and eyes glowing a vibrant red.  They all ran away.

"Um…. You're…. Choking…..me!" Chibi Hiei gasped, his face was turning blue because….. that's what was happening…. I hadn't let go of him yet…. He's just that cute.

"Gomen, Hiei." I said, releasing him.  Before I did, I secretly tightened his handcuff so he couldn't escape.  Hiei was staring at the moon persons that were still walking around the area.

"STAY AWAY, EVIL MOON BUNNIES!!!!!!" He shouted, drawing his pink flamingo.  That scared all the bunnies off.

"RUN AWAY!!!!" They all shouted in whatever voice they had….. { I don't know what they sound like… Dark Cloud was too cheap to actually make the people talk during the cut-scenes… the only time you get an idea of what they sound like is when they attack, are getting tired from running, or falling down into endless caverns or just getting beaten….}

"Ok, now I have one question for you fangirls…." I said, looking at the crowd forming around us.  "WHO HERE WANTS A HUMAN JIN!!" I shouted.  The fangirls all shouted at once with the 'I do!  I do!' or 'I want him!'  Heck there was even a fanboy there [fanboy: WHAT?!  It's for my sister…. She's not allowed to come…] (sure…. Whatever dude….)

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Ok Jin Fan Girls(or guys… I don't really), here's your chance, if you want Jin, say so in a review.  I want to try to get in some fan interaction in this story.  ::continues looking around::  See ya round peoples!

Oh and fyi, the fear the bunnies thing was supposed to be because of the giant bunnies I typed. They didn't come out well in the upload so I had to delete them…. 

In case there's confusion here's what some of the brackets within the story mean:

(____) My comments that are just like… dunnno… not really relevant in the story

[____] A Character's comments not mentioned in the story but kinda funny or just.. there to prove the char isn't a lunatic or is…

{____} Those are for my rants…. I love ranting sometimes   -^_^-

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*****END CHAPTER*****


	8. BISHIE AUCTIONGIVE AWAY plus a ROOM OF S...

Finally after a long lack of hyperness streak, I HAVE RETURNED!!!

Crickets: ::chirp….. chirp…..chirp….. chirp::

SHUT UP! I DID NOT FORGET ABOUT THE FIC!

Crickets: ::rapid chirping::

::looks at Hiei being assaulted by Kristen:: STAY AWAY FROM HIM! ::bites you in the arm and burns your sword. Walks to Hiei and hugs him::

Kristen: OW! Now I'm gonna have to get checked for rabies….

Hiei: GET OFF ME!

Be good or you won't get any sweet snow.

Hiei: Fine…. �;

::pats Hiei on head:: Good Jaganshi. ::glares at Kurama then kicks him hard in the shin and rips most of his hair out.::

Hiei: ::chuckles lightly::

Cheryl: I remember this one time…. At band camp, I-

Everyone else: NO MORE BAND CAMP STORIES!!!!!!!

Cheryl: MEEP!

Okay… time to continue the fic….

— "Ok, now I have one question for you fangirls…." I said, looking at the crowd forming around us. "WHO HERE WANTS A HUMAN JIN!!" I shouted. The fangirls all shouted at once with the 'I do! I do!' or 'I want him!' Heck there was even a fanboy there fanboy: WHAT?! It's for my sister…. She's not allowed to come… (sure…. Whatever dude….) —

Before I could give Jin away, one of the heads of BAAF walked up. "I'm sorry, we cannot have this sort of thing in the passageways…. You're blocking everyone off. May I suggest you take this whole thing to a vacant room? There's one right next to the Dealer's Room movie theater you could use."

"Sure. That sounds like fun. COME ON GIRLS! BISHOUNEN AUCTION!!!!" I said, running into the room followed by the giant mob of fangirls and the weird fanboy. With a giant poof bigger than when both Kyo and Yuki Sohma are hugged at the same time by a girl, the empty room was filled with chairs and a stage. There were binoculars on the seats so the bidders would get to zoom in on their possible buy. I walked to the stage; Hiei was being toted in mid-air due to his total shortness. Fangirls swarmed into the room along with a few fanboys. I dragged Jin onto the stage.

"First Bishounen is Jin! For those who actually don't know who he is: He's the Shinobi of the wind, normally has horn on his head, pointy elf ears, and one visible fang. He has a tendency of speaking fast with a thick Irish accent. Bidding starts at about…. 6 Manga!"

"7 Manga!" Shouted Kyle, an Eminem wannabe, standing up and raising his stick number thing.

"10 Manga!" Shouted Emily, also standing and swinging her stick number thing.

"15!"

"40 and a Furuba Box Set!" With that Kyle was shut up.

"Do I hear anything higher than 40? Going once…. Going twice… SOLD TO NUMBER 367!"

Emily jumped up and down and ran up to Jin, she glomped him, walked behind him then climbed onto his shoulders and shifted through his hair.

"What're ya doin' ta me?" He demanded, his wind powers returning.

"Looking for Jinians…." She replied.

"What're Jinians?" He'd ask.

"Little people who live in your hair." She spoke still shifting through his hair, "DARN! There are none." She spoke both enraged and disappointed. "Ah well, you're mine now." She jumped down hugged him tightly; you could hear the bones in his back breaking.

"LET GO'A ME!" Jin shouted before breaking her grasp.

"THERE HE IS!!!" Shouted the rabid Jin fangirls, barging into the room and charging at Jin. Emily would lash out a giant bazooka from hammer space yell "Die!" then fire. All the rabid Jin fangirls there were burned to a crisp and nothing was left of them. She grabbed the very frightened Jin by the arm and walked out, dragging him along. They'd go to an arcade and play Dance Dance Revolution. Jin was still stiff as a statue though, in fear of the bazooka attack.

Meanwhile:

"Bidding for Touya starts now!" I shouted, pulling out Touya from behind the stage. At the mention of his name, many fangirls screamed or swooned.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Shouted Sarah, storming up to the stage. "He's mine and you know it!" She'd grab Touya by the wrist and drag him out of there. Everyone just stared and the crickets chirped for a few minutes.

"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooookkkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy" I spoke, breaking the silence and the chain of the crickets chirping. "Next up is Draco Malfoy! Do I hear any takers?!" And the bidding started, going to very high amounts before Cheryl barged in still riding Sesshomaru. She made him dash to the stage and she used dragged Draco onto Sesshy's back only to have him run into first a wall, then a row of bidders, then another wall, then into a theater room, then finally straight through the closed door! (with a gaint **BOOM** noise I add)

"Since apparently I CAN'T AUCTION OFF THE BISHOUNEN, I'll give away some, then I'll let all of you fight over the remaining ones….." I sighed then gave Ed, Kakashi, and Shigure to Kiki-sensei.

"NO! I will not let Kakashi be tortured!" Cried out a Kakashi fanboy, no this guy just really likes Kakashi's personality,he doesn't like the whole shounen-ai thing. (I call him Artem, just to torture the real guy I'm referring to you know who you are!. It's fun to torture Artemus --)

"She's had dibs on him for years dude…. Here, you get Naruto and Yusuke." I sighed, hurling the two at him and sending the three out the door in the mouth of a kokuryu, which burned them severly. They were then hospitalized.

"Where's that baka kitsune?" I murmured, looking for the next person I hand a bishie over to. "KISTUNE GET OVER HERE!" I shouted. Kiba dragged up Kristen. I love my white wolfie; he's such a good boy.

"What in all the hells do you want?" Pouted Kristen, "And stop calling me a Kitsune!"

"Fine…. I guess I'll just let Kurama be given to someone else…."

"NOO!!!"

"I was just joking about not giving him to you, oh and here's a Dr. Baretto voo-doo doll for you to torture." I laughed, handing her Kurama, the now bald fox demon human, and the weird little doll resembling the Bio teacher who almost always late to class (and he's supposed to be the teacher! Sometimes the class is stuck waiting for most of the period!)

"Yay!!" Kristen shouted, glomping Kurama.

"Okay, the rest of you, time to fight for bishies!" I spoke, chucking just about every anime Bishounen not auctioned off or given away (excluding Hiei, Kiba, Kyo Sohma, Sephiroth, Vincent, Riku, and Cloud…. They're mine. )

Within moments, the fangirls were tearing each other limb from limb. Coli-dono killed 15 people and walked out with Ryo Bakura. Kono was fuming over getting whacked by Baku's butt in the struggle and the whole being ignored by Coli as she was plotting ways to play with Baku.

"Hey Hiei, you're being good for once. Do you want sweet snow?" I asked the chibi child Hiei. He nodded rapidly. Kurama shouted "NO!" since he knew what happens after sweet snow. I led him to a separate room, "Okay Hiei, all the sweet snow in here is yours to eat, go ahead!" I laughed, letting him loose within a room with over 500 containers of sweet snow. Hiei started eating them up and then…..

Kurama: ::glares at me:: You've doomed us all….

Big deal, Hiei's eaten sweet snow before.

Kurama: Last time he almost burned the city down with the Kokuryus!

So?

Kurama: You don't care, do you?

Not at all…

Kurama: Someone complain about this in a review…. Maybe she'll stop… my hands are tied.

Yep, in a literal meaning see? ::points to the rose whip wrapped around his wrists like green thorny handcuffs::

Kurama: Help…..


End file.
